Dispatches from the DOWN HOME DIVAS
#1 Sisters, Thou Art Wild and Lovely
Berea College Pinnacle, January 18, 2012
Welcome girls and guys to the next fabulous chapter of your lives. We expect some of you may be wondering, just what exactly is a down home diva . . . and what would these two skinny white boys know about it? Maybe the “d” word brought some high profile individuals to mind - Dolly Parton, Paula Deen, Ms. Pat . . . We know you’ve got 'that aunt' that can't leave the house without stopping for cigarettes and lottery tickets. What about your last fierce waitress at the Waffle House? What about your mamaw?
What we're trying to say is that pretty much anyone is liable to be a down home diva. This isn't just a fabulous term that we've slapped on a few deserving people - A down home diva is someone who knows where she comes from, an outspoken individual who takes life by the shirt collar and says, "Honey, let me show you how we do it back home." A down home diva could speak her mind at any given moment, and you can bet that what she has to say helps everybody just "get it together." You can bet that it's said with a little accent on the side.
And where do we divas dwell? Well darling, we can be uptown or holler deep but no matter where it is we know where our roots are planted and most likely know where we are going – so get out of our way!! How does the down home diva preoccupy herself? The answer is simple. It all begins on the P-Suite balcony….honey, it ain’t no porch but it’s the best we can do. As the sun rises high over little Berea town we nurse a cup of coffee (cup #1) as a Country music matriarch blares from the iPod. From there we divas retire to the make-shift kitchen (the baked goods care package our mamaws so lovingly sent us) and pull out a delicious brownie. We close our eyes and imagine fried eggs, taters, homemade biscuits, and bulldog gravy. Another cup of coffee (cup #2) will have to come from somewhere to ease the headache resulting from the previous night’s festivities. We decide that a trip to the Dinner Bell will have to suffice….anywhere with a gingham-covered table and a frustrated waitress.
After breakfast we return to the dorm to jaw, perhaps sing a ballad and do laundry. We reflect upon last nights’ beverages and gospel singing, how our mamaws would have been both proud and ashamed of us. We add another story or two to the novel we someday write. The afternoon may consist of another cup of coffee in the room (cup #3) then a trip to BC&T (cup #4) where we will discuss the recent gossip and pass judgment on the Yankee people tourists ambling down the street. Then after an afternoon nap we will have a speedy change of clothes, as our mothers the D-Bird and the Valerie taught us well. We like to call this phase of the day: from housecoat to high maintenance. And in a split second we down home divas have transformed ourselves into fabulous celeb-utantes (celebrities-debutantes).
We seek within ourselves the Kitty Wells, the Dolly Parton, the Tammy Wynette. In our everyday lives, we become Honky Tonk Angels, minus the bleach-blonde hair, sequined denim jackets, and patchwork pocketbooks. In that pocketbook of the soul, we have our handkerchief, handgun, and Gideon’s New Testament. With these three single items we can take on tears, stupid men, and even the Devil himself. The Lord only knows where we divas will end up – most likely Truvy’s Beauty Salon or the gas station to pick up some Chester Fried Chicken. But no matter what we divas must always look our best.
We wanted to take a little time each week to celebrate these down home diva moments, as sisters. Like any two elderly women, Ethan Hamblin and Sam Gleaves travel together and the things we run across . . . honey, it is a regular sight sometimes. There’s an old church house song we love by the name of “Sisters, Thou Art Mild and Lovely,” but we figured we’d just change that “mild” to “wild.” It suits us better that way.
There's a lot to be said for those who live their lives as down home divas and everyone deserves to take a little of that power for themselves. As two country queers, we learned just about all we know from these divas and they taught us that regardless of the foolish and hateful people we run across, there's a lot of pride in being who we are. We are the aspiring down home divas and we are here to help.
Now, honey, don't you need a little of that for yourself? Well, never fear, the divas are here! We'll write about the everyday issues we face and we'll try to laugh about it with you all. We're searching ourselves for the down home diva within. She's in there. We'll do whatever it takes to, as the diva herself Lee Smith once put it, "walk in our bodies like queens." And we wonder, should we print the divine words of Lee in red . . . ?
