Dispatches from the DOWN HOME DIVAS

 

#5 - The Sweetest Gift, A Diva’s Smile:
Conversations with Our Mothers

Berea College Pinnacle, March 22, 2012

Children, we expect you’re all teething at the bit to hear the wild and lovely tales of the Divas’ spring break! Well . . . we survived. That’s all we can tell in print.

Moving on! For this week’s special Dispatch in honor of Women’s History Month, we’ve invited two legendary guests up to the house for some front porch conversation . . . OUR MOTHERS!!! These two mountain women have a history worth telling and if you think our Down Home Diva rants get a little extra crispy, trust us, honey, our mothers are the Colonel’s original recipe. These are the women that taught us to cook, cuss, carry pepperspray and call out to the Lord. We still have a lot to learn from our mamas and we hope that you will pay close attention to these mother-daughter conversations, because the wisdom of these women will shine through the ages like a “halo bright, heaven’s light, the sweetest gift, a mother’s smile.”

Deanna Bradberry: Words of a Wythe County Wild Woman

If y’all have been wondering where I picked up all these Down Home Diva skills, look no further than the shining example of my mother, Deanna Bradberry (affectionately known to her family as D-Bird). The Bird is my wellspring and a continuous source of inspiration and stability in my life, and I’m so thankful that she has taken the time to share many of her secrets with me over the years. Among other things, the Bird is an accomplished writer, self-help guru, Southern socialite, health/beauty expert and contented divorcee. She delights in good books, top-shelf wine and spending time with her two sons, particularly the gay one. (Hell, now that I think of it, my mother tried to set me up on a date with a “nice young man” a week before I came out to her!) Most of the time the Bird can be found burning up the road like a wild woman in her P.T. Cruiser trying to get to one of her several jobs as an English instructor and an expert hostess at a local winery. Though she is faced with many stresses to overcome each day as a small town celebrity, the Bird has always maintained her solemn vow, “There will never be a gray hair on this head, no! Every six weeks, sixty dollars – taken care of.” Above all things, she is a Down Home Diva.

Sam - Why do you consider yourself a Down Home Diva?
The Bird - Because my son named me one! And I’d like to think it’s a compliment, because I think that he’s saying that a Down Home Diva is someone who is Appalachian, someone who appreciates their roots that can blend their culture with their education and become someone who is not stereotypical.
Sam - How did the example of your mother, matriarch Brenda Bradberry, help you become the Diva you are today?
The Bird - My mother instilled in me the values from our culture, familism, loyalty to friends and family, love of the mountains. She taught me to embrace the tradition of cooking for my family to show love, which you well know. My mother taught me to be kind to others and I have taught that to my children. She also taught me to wear makeup and always look nice, how to order clothes from catalogs.
Sam - How does the Down Home Diva conduct herself at home?
The Bird - Home is where I cook and welcome everyone and sometimes drink a little wine.
Sam - In the workplace?
The Bird - I’m an exacting professional.
Sam - On the town?
The Bird - Sam Gleaves! I am NOT answering that question because you are going to make fun of me!
Sam - What is the #1 most important trait/life skill that every Diva must have?
The Bird - The ability to laugh at oneself.
Sam - What steps do you take each morning before leaving the house to make sure your cosmetic appearance is Diva-approved?
The Bird - There’s makeup. There’s a latte from the Mr. Latte machine, which has to be a specific brand of coffee, because a Down Home Diva knows what’s good! Today I picked my earrings first and made sure my outfit matched. Is that what you want to hear? Because that’s what happened.
Sam - What are a few things that you really just can’t stand?
The Bird - The little picture that I’m required to take at the school where I teach. The Driver Improvement class they make you take when you get a speeding ticket. Both of those things are completely annoying. Speaking of which, people who drive in the passing lane very slowly cause the Diva to curse on the way to school in the morning. Another thing – men. To quote Barbara Kingsolver, “I don’t know why men make out the world to be such a big damn dangerous deal,” when there’s a woman around. Women have to live in the same damn world every day of the week and we’re perfectly capable.
Sam - What are your “saving graces?” What carries you through those stressful days?
The Bird - Sweet tea. A little medication. Some exercise. My Kindle.
Sam – Religious views?
The Bird – In Sunday School I was taught that God is love . . . and I don’t understand why a lot of people missed that memo. Also, a lot of churches have what I like to call, “mean church people,” those people that make everyone outside the “Amen! corner” feel unwelcome. That’s just really rude.
Sam - Have you ever “saved the day” with your Diva skills?
The Bird - My sons both say that I have gone “mama bear” in their defense on several occasions. Once we were having my oldest son’s birthday party at a bowling alley and this stringy headed teenager who worked there tried to give my boy a hard time, so I immediately got that teenager’s attention and we had a little lesson in manners! A much needed lesson!
Sam - Does every Down Home Diva need a gay son?
The Bird - Of course. There is no other woman in my house – who else am I supposed to ask about my choice of clothes? Okay, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I really have to go. I have forty-five more research papers to grade.

Valerie Hamblin:

Proverbs from the Perry County Powerhouse

My mother, Valerie Hope (Sandlin) Hamblin, believes that you should “say what you mean and mean what you say.” Since I was a young’un, she told me to treat people the way you want to be treated and always remember that family is of the utmost importance. To say the least, her inspirational words have carried me through the best and worst of times and she is the rock upon which my emotional and psychological stability rest (and the Lord knows that I am overtaken with trials hourly). Valerie served as the postmaster for the Gays Creek post office, but has recently been the Office-in-Charge for the Chavies post office. To add to her titles, she is an Elder for the Buckhorn Lake Area Presbyterian Church and has been an active member of the Buckhorn Alumni Association and Order of the Eastern Star – Booneville: Chapter #446. She also served as the pack leader for the Buckhorn Cub Scout Troop (Yes, I was a member). These are only a few of her many accomplishments. On the daily, she can be found sorting mail, making more than one pot of coffee, stalking her diva-tastic son on Facebook (which she denies), or listening to her favorite Loretta Lynn song “You Ain’t Woman Enough.” Like Loretta, Valerie is a good ole mountain girl who believes in family, fellowship, and food on the table.

Valerie: Is it on? Hello!!! Testing one, two three…..testing.
Ethan: Just so this bunch can know more about you, what are some things you do to prepare yourself for the day? What do you do to get ready in the morning?
Valerie: That is a goofy question. What do you mean how do I prepare myself? I just get up, get a shower, get with it, and go on. But I do have to have a cup a coffee. I like a pack of Nabs (snack crackers), but I can do without it.
Ethan: Do you consider yourself a Diva?
Valerie: I am not. When I think of someone who is a diva I think of someone who is flamboyant or considers themselves above somebody else. Heaven knows I’m not either one of those things: that is somebody else’s job. I do not have time for that.
Ethan: We define Down Home Diva as someone who stands up for her family, herself, and what she believes in….
Valerie: Well that is me, but I am still trying to discover my identity.
Ethan: Well who do you think you are? How do you identify yourself?
Valerie: (singing) “Mr. Big Shot, who do you think you are? Mr. Big Shot” (talking) I am just plain ole me: mountain girl and Ethan’s mother.
Ethan: What is a matriarch and tell me about a matriarch in your life?
Valerie: A matriarch is someone who is old and that is not me. HAHAHA!! But, a matriarch would be any and all of the women that have had a hand in my raising or being part of my life: two grannies, lots of aunts, Mommy…. Both of my grannies were raised up hard and had to start working outside the home when they were teenagers. They had to have money to just exist and get by. It continued right on and on all their lives. They were strong, independent women who loved their families and did what they had to do to survive.
Ethan: What are things that aggravate you?
Valerie: Constant negativity. Let’s try and find positive things to talk about. My son does tell me that I am a Debbie Downer sometimes, but I am not. I am just practical and thinking. Also, it is helpful when things are organized and always put back where they came from. Finally, I don’t like people thinking they deserve something all the time, because you don’t deserve everything all the time.
Ethan: What are some of your “saving graces” or things you look forward to doing?
Valerie: A phone call from my son and hearing the creek run out my bedroom window. Family reunions, surprise phone calls, post office chats with old friends, Dancing with the Stars, Downton Abbey, and old movies. Also, everybody needs a dab of grease once and a while. I could eat a cheeseburger every single day. Of course, a good cup of coffee in the afternoon and the evening is essential, especially after supper.
Ethan: What are your religious views?
Valerie: I believe in God and that we ought to treat people the way we want to be treated. God meets people where they are because we are all sinners, saved by grace. He has been all kinds of things to all people from the onset of time. Whether that is to the Muslim, the Jew, the Native American, or even to the people who don’t believe. He made all of us the way we are and the Bible tells us that. That means everybody, everywhere. So that is what I believe.
Ethan: What are words that you live by?
Valerie: Don’t do interviews. It makes you have to think. But that which does not kill us, will only make us stronger.